3.

 Read an Instagram post earlier about trusting your heart (from @thebirdspapaya)

Thinking now about how much trust I have placed in my heart along the way.

I have always felt everything deeply. My mind and body react strongly to any and all emotions and I have always felt like it was more of an affliciton than a privilege.

Sometimes it is, but sometimes just being able to sense your heart so clearly and know when something is or isn't for you can be an incredible privilege.

I left the secure life I had and I decided I was going it alone and every day since then I have doubted whether that was the right move. Since I took the bull by the horns and said 'This is not right' I have tried to shy away from the power behind it yet every time I have looked for the opportunity to backslide I have been blocked from it. 

*FOR A REASON*

The option to slip back into comfortably numb is gone completely but now I sit frozen in the headlights of oncoming traffic. I literally have to move to survive and it's going to have to be a giant leap at this point because I have waited too long to take baby steps. 

And the thing is...I know I have the courage to keep moving because I had the courage to start moving in the first place. Like, I have concrete evidence that that level of courage lives inside of me so I can't deny it, I can't doubt it and I can't debate it.

 So tonight I ask my heart to lead me to the safety that comes from not playing it safe. 

Tonight, I put all of my trust in the scared girl who packed her shit up and left.  

On so many levels I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing but on the only level that matters, I know I'll figure it out and everything will be as it should be.

Everyday I try to make sure that I honour the moments to teach my daughter how to stay empowered and I think it's time I took those lessons and turned them on myself.